What I Came To Realize After The Death Of My Father

My father died on January 2nd, 2026. It was expected. He was 97 years old. We had a graveside service for him and a family luncheon afterwards. It was a beautiful commemoration for him. And for my mother, who died before him, on June 26, 2021. She was 90 years old. No one thought of my father without thinking of my mother. They were a twosome.

I have been reflecting on not just life after death, but life before this earthly life. Here are some of my thoughts. I hope this helps anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

WE ARE ETERNAL BEINGS

We existed before this life, and we will continue to exist after this life. We had relationships and friendships with each other before we were born. And those relationships will continue on.

If we had a loving relationship with the person who died, we can take comfort knowing that the relationship will still exist when we see our loved one again.

And if the relationship had its rough moments, was strained or problematic, we can take comfort knowing that the person who died now has a different perspective. They now remember things from before this earthly life. They have more information and a better understanding. And they would love to tell us that. And they will, when we see them again! So, let your heart be softened towards them.

HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR US

The day before my father died, I was practicing my flute. I’m a flutist. And I felt impressed to go visit my father and play some hymns for him. My father had been receiving hospice care for several months, and we all knew that he would die soon.

So, I packed up my flute, grabbed some music and a music stand, and left. A prompting for someone who is dying is not to be ignored.

My father had not been conscious for a few days, but I was sure that he could hear me. So, I got out my flute and played some favorite hymns, and some Irish folk tunes, and some of my mother’s favorites. And I talked with him in between them, about memories from each one: Danny Boy, Irish Blessing, Lead Kindly Light, Abide With Me, Be Still, My Soul.

I take comfort in the thought that, now that my father has died, he knows that I did this for him. And I’m grateful that Heavenly Father gave me this opportunity to play my flute for my father one last time. My father died just a few hours later.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

Heavenly Father understands. Turn to Him. Trust Him.

TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR OWN WELL-BEING IS COMFORTING & HEALING

• Turn to the scriptures.
• Talk to Heavenly Father, family members, and friends.
• Serve someone.
• Allow yourself to feel emotions. They are God-given.
• Call “death” what you are comfortable with: passed away, left this earthly life, returned home, death.
• Slow down, be patient with yourself, and give yourself time.
• Be patient with others. They love you and are trying to help, in their own way.
• Just as death is a new beginning for the person who died, it can be a new beginning for us as well. Assess, forgive, repent, change, move forward, find the path that Heavenly Father wants for you-the one that truly gives you peace.

HELPING SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS MOURNING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED

• Read a scripture together.
• Pray together.
• Send a text, write a note, send a card, give them a call, put an encouraging sticky note on their car, stop by for a short visit.
• Take over cookies, a loaf of bread, a casserole to put in the freezer for later. And it’s okay if they are store-bought.
• Take over flowers or a plant.
• Take over a feel-good/take-a-break novel or magazine.
• Clean their kitchen or their yard.
• Ask “What do you need from me right now?”
• Listen. Laugh with them, and cry with them. Give advice, if they want it. Don’t, if they don’t.
• Just be there for them. Know that they are going to have their own way of going through the grieving process. Allow them to be who they are.

My husband Dutch was 25 years old when his father died. We had been married for 2 years. He didn’t grieve the way I expected him to, so I was worried. We talked about it, and I realized that he was going through the sadness of losing his father in his own way. Which was not how I was grieving. And that was okay.

KEEPING AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE IS HEARTENING

Death has a way of putting things into perspective. This is a good time to remind ourselves what’s important and to think through how we want our lives to be. Remember the 2 great commandments: to love God and to love each other (Matthew 22:37-40). And always remember that every day we are alive, we have another chance to make changes and to do better and to be better.

And as we remember that, also remember that Heavenly Father loves us. Unconditionally and without fail and always.

Crafting wishes,

Marilee

After subscribing, click here to receive free 2026 monthly calendars:

2026 Monthly Calendars-A Crafting Home Giveaway